


i see stars

by orphan_account



Category: Pentagon (Korean Band)
Genre: Eventual Smut, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Pining, Stargazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-10-02 19:17:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10225235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jinho’s hand reached out for Hwitaek’s across the table. He looked up at the older, a sense of lost love in his eyes, and they stared together.The stars, as always, were there.





	1. prologue

“Hwitaek, honey, when are you going to start seeing someone?” Hwitaek’s mother asked at the dinner table one night he decided to visit home.

“Yes, when are you?” His father added. “Do you want us to find a girl for you to date?”   


Hwitaek cringed slightly. “I...uh, I’m seeing somebody,” he said, hiding his face.

“Are you? Who? When can we meet her?”

Hwitaek bit his lip. “We’re not that serious…”

“Well, honey, when you are that serious, we’d love to meet her,” his mother crooned, smiling happily at her son.

Hwitaek sighed defeatedly. He continued picking at his meal without putting any in his mouth.

“Eat, sweetie,” his mother said.

“I will,” he said.

 

ㅡ

 

_ “Hwitaek-ah!” Jinho yelled from across the classroom. The small boy ran up to Hwitaek, who was now taller than him after years of being best friends. Jinho’s always been short, but up until a few months prior he’d been the tallest of the two. Hwitaek hit a recent growth spurt, though, which gained him a few centimeters on his hyung. _

_ “Hyung!” Hwitaek excitedly replied. “Are we hanging out again today?” _

_ “Of course, as long as you’re up for it, Hwi!” Jinho smiled brightly at Hwitaek, proud and excited. Hwitaek smiled back with just as much excitement. He loved being around Jinho; he was like a happy pill. If he was having a bad day, as long as he saw Jinho, the day would get ten times better than it was before. _

_ And that night, after binging five episodes of a random drama and downing tons of snacks, the seventeen and sixteen year old sat on the roof of the older’s house, staring up at the stars. Hwitaek leaned back and threw his arms out, which caused Jinho to as well, head falling onto Hwitaek’s bicep. They continued staring at the sky in that position, and after a while, Hwitaek realized his attention was no longer on the burning lights in the universe, but on Jinho’s eyes that perfectly resembled stars. It took him a moment to realize that he was looking directly into Jinho’s eyes, because Jinho was staring right back at him. _

_ “Hwitaek-ah, what are you doing?” _

_ “Nothing,” Hwitaek replied, turning away from Jinho to refocus on the constellations formed in the galaxy. His eyes traced over each design he could think to create, tens of constellations he’d already known existed and many more pictures he thought of on the spot, before he felt a small hand trace his jaw and chin. He turned quickly to face Jinho again, who was looking at him intently, a tense atmosphere filling the air around them. _

_ “What is it, hyung?” _

_ “Can I kiss you?” Hwitaek heard, just a small whisper, barely audible to anyone other than them. _

_ Hwitaek turned to face Jinho, and slowly nodded. _

_ And in the next moment, Hwitaek felt Jinho’s lips crash against his own, a surge of energy filling his blood to an extent that he believed he could stay like this forever, with Jinho, excitement and happiness overtaking any other thought in his mind.  _

_ Their mouths pressed together. Though the kiss started soft, it turned hot and needy very quickly. Hwitaek found Jinho biting into his lower lip, and Hwitaek began licking into the older’s mouth, both wide open. Their hands were pushing at each other, running up one another’s bodies, the pubescent teenagers breaking a sweat. Hwitaek’s hands found themselves in Jinho’s hair, their legs tangled, sweet sounds of satisfaction coming from the smaller. Hwitaek’s mind was blank of any thought other than Jinho, so overtaken by the contact they shared. He really loved every second of it, he was truly pleased, so much so he chased after Jinho’s lips as the older pulled away. He nearly whined in complaint, but held himself back. _

_ “I...uh, I’m sorry,” Jinho said, pulling his head away. Hwitaek’s mind was a complete mess. _

_ Jinho kept getting farther and farther away from him, farther from his sight, reach, mind. It hurt to watch this happen. He took a deep breath and stared at Jinho, who was moving away, in agony. He wanted him to stay, to continue with him, to fall in love. _

_ It was obvious, now. _

_ Clearly, Jinho didn’t feel the same surge of electricity that Hwitaek had. _


	2. i.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hwitaek meets hyojong and thinks, for once, he might actually be happy, loving someone that wasn't jinho.  
> he's not wrong, but he's also not right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao so this is all the stuff i have written before the big ol' thing that will come next chapter in what...a day or so?  
> bare with me, i hope this suffices for now.  
> enjoy!

Hwitaek found himself running out of options.

He was trying so hard to find someone he could pretend to date so his parents would be less worried about him, but was failing miserably. He’d asked his roommate, Yuto, if he’d be willing to, but he declined for reasons he wouldn’t disclose. It bothered him slightly, but he pretended it didn’t. He hoped he didn’t come off as weird toward Yuto, that’d make it awkward between them. The last thing he wanted was to have an offset relationship with his roommate.

So that’s how he ended up encountering Shinwon, warming him up with affirmations such as “You were always my favorite dongsaeng, you know,” and “Shinwonie’s the best, isn’t he? He always works so hard and helps out hyung,” and it was starting to make the younger uncomfortable. He quickly asked what Hwitaek was there for anyway.

“Okay, listen, Shinwon, I need your help,” Hwitaek said slightly under his breath, causing the younger to look at him strangely from across the coffee shop’s counter.

“With what, hyung?”

“I need you to either pretend you’re my boyfriend, or to find me a girl to pretend is my girlfriend, because my parents keep asking if I’m dating someone, and they’re really set on it being a girl, but if you can’t find someone then that’s fine, you could help me come outㅡ”

“Wait, hold on, you’re not out to your parents?”

“No…” Hwitaek replied, causing a sigh to leave Shinwon’s mouth.

“You need to come out to them, hyung. I know it’s annoying hearing them talk about a girl for you to date, I had to go through that.”

“Are you saying you’ll pretend to be my boyfriend?” He gaped at Shinwon.

“No, I won’t, considering I’m dating someone. But I know someone who will.”

Hwitaek tilted his head, staring at Shinwon. “You’re dating someone?”

He smirked. “The kid’s named Hyunggu. You’ve met him, he works here in the early afternoons.”

Hwitaek smiled, “That bright kid that memorized my name? Who always looks like he’s having the time of his life making coffee?”

“That’s the one.”

“Good for you, Shinwon-ah, and of course, I’ll happily meet who you have in mind.”

ㅡ

“Hwitaek, this is Hyojong, and Hyojong, this is Hwitaek. You’re fake-dating now. Enjoy.”

Shinwon barely introduced them to each other before taking off, leaving them alone together at the coffee shop.

“Uh. I’m Hyojong,” the younger said. He was just a few centimeters taller than Hwitaek, and his face was clear of acne. It was actually beautiful to look at; skin so soft and slightly tanned. His eyes were perfectly placed, nose just the right size, he seemed ethereal. If he thought Shinwon was attractive, Hyojong was ten times that.

“Hwitaek,” he pushed past his lips awkwardly.

“I guess I should get to know my fake boyfriend now, shouldn’t I?” Hyojong cracked a witty smile. Hwitaek tilted his head.

“Probably a good idea, huh?”

The two spent nearly four hours together in the coffee shop, and when Shinwon had to come in for his shift later that day, they were still there.

“You two are seriously still here? I thought you’d exchange phone numbers and leave after twenty minutes. Especially you, Hwitaek, I totally thought you’d be out by now.”

He smiled at Shinwon, “Nah, we’ve just been talking. We’ll leave before your shift so we don’t embarrass you.”

Shinwon cracked a joking smile, saying just loud enough for the duo to hear, “I don’t mind as long as you don’t call for me every five minutes.”

Hwitaek quickly learned how infatuating Hyojong was.

For one, Hyojong loved music. He loved it so much he majored in it, studying musical composition and history. He’s recorded a couple songs, which he played for him. The older took complete interest in it, hearing his compositions and lyrics were so beautiful. Hyojong also had a tattoo on the back of his neck of a cross and a couple small ones on his wrist of x’s and o’s, as well as one peeking out of his shirt at the collar on Hwitaek’s right; he didn’t explain why he had these tattoos, nor did Hwitaek ask, but it was more than okay. It only made Hyojong even more attractive to him. His head spinned around every time Hyojong so much as spoke, informing him of more, more, more details about him. Hwitaek was so enthralled of every detail he learned about the younger. It made him excited.

He decided that day that he wouldn’t exactly mind having a future with Hyojong.

Hyojong’s impression of the older was a shy yet sociable twenty-two year old. He majored in environmental sciences, but sang on the side for choir when he was in high school. When he asked Hwitaek to sing, he was really amazed with how beautiful and practiced his voice was. It may have been an American song with lyrics he didn’t understand, but Hyojong could feel the emotion portrayed, and it really brought a new level of attractiveness to Hwitaek.

And Hyojong decided that day that he, too, wouldn’t mind having a future with Hwitaek.

ㅡ

So they spent time together, hours on end, for that matter. Hwitaek would ask when Hyojong’s classes were let out, and would go to pick him up and take him over to the coffee shop. They acted as if they were actually dating, but in fear of any confusion, they established that no, we’re not actually dating and that we will not, under any circumstance, cross any lines. That was their deal, and they were okay with it.

Hwitaek actually found himself liking Hyojong a lot more than he thought he would, though. He liked being around him, listening to his voice, sitting across from him at tables and just hearing him talk about nothing and everything. He was just so enthralling, so incredibly interesting, and Hwitaek loved every minute he got to be around him.

It scared Hwitaek.

“Hwi-hyung,” Hyojong whispered whilst on one of their ‘dates’, “are you okay?”

Hwitaek had apparently looked a bit out of it, and it concerned Hyojong enough for him to ask. He shook his head quickly and affirmed that yeah, he was okay, more than okay, and that he really just wanted to continue listening to Hyojong talk about a song he was working on with some freshmen at university. (And that if Hyojong really wanted to, he could drop the honorifics. It made Hwitaek feel a little bit awkward at this point.)

It was a song; one he'd heard lyrics to before, thanks to Hyojong's extensive want to share his work before it was completed, and Hwitaek found the lyrics to be extremely well written and beautifully put together. The themes were staggering and random, but overall fit perfectly in some odd fashion. It seemed to be a talent of Hyojong's to be able to produce such work that the scrambled mess of it all could sound good when placed in a certain order.

A moment after, Hwitaek remembered hearing Yuto talk about a song he was working on with an upperclassman and his complaints at his lack of theme, but he blew it off and told him that everything would be fine, that the collaboration between seniors and juniors would be a great way to improve his own lyricism. It would make sense, as it was focused on teamwork, conception, and inspiration. He was curious now, though, if it was Hyojong that Yuto was working with.

When the younger finished his thought, Hwitaek asked, “I’ve heard my roommate talking about one of these projects, who are your partners? What’s your requirements? I’m a little curious.”

“I’m partnered with this duo of kids, Wooseok and Yuto, and honestly, while it’s been tiring it’s been fun. The requirements are that it has to be a full song and it has to have vocal and rap elements. It doesn’t matter the tempo or beat or anything. And you already knew it doesn't matter the lyrics.” Hwitaek nodded, still focused on the fact that it was in fact Hyojong that was working with Yuto.

“Yuto’s my roommate, you know,” he said. Hyojong instantly became more interested.

“Is he really? What can I do to get the kid to help write lyrics? He really shys away in our group meetings.”

“I think I know why,” Hwitaek grinned. He hated meddling when he was in the focus of it (read: from his parents), but when it came to Yuto, of course he’d get involved. “You said the other kid was named Wooseok?”

Hyojong nodded. He tilted his head slightly to the side for a moment.

“Yuto’s been mentioning this Wooseok character for a while, I had no clue who he was. I think Yuto is interested in him. I’m also certain he has lyrics lying around, he’s always writing them whenever I visit in on him.”

“Ah, that makes so much sense!” Hyojong exclaimed, “Do you think we should set them up? I’m close with Wooseok, and he talks about Yuto a lot too, enough so that I get the impression that he likes him, would that be a good idea?”

“I think they’d end up being grateful, honestly. Let’s try. Get Wooseok over here,” Hwitaek said, grabbing his phone from his jacket pocket, “I’ll get Yuto.”

So they contacted the boys, telling them where to meet, and Yuto was the first to get there; the boy confused as to why Hyojong was there, but didn’t verbally ask. Hwitaek knew he was curious regardless, so he explained that he was seeing Hyojong, and Yuto was pleased to hear that his roommate and sunbae were having a good time in each other’s company. Only then did Wooseok walk in the door, immediately approaching them, bowing to Hyojong and Hwitaek as he introduced himself. The kid was huge but had such a bright smile that immediately made him so much less intimidating than his height made him seem.

“Yuto-yah,” Hwitaek started, “do you have anything you’d like to tell Wooseok here?”

Yuto stared at Hwitaek for a moment, then looked to Wooseok, who had his head tilted to the side slightly. His face looked confused, his hands holding themselves at his front.

“Wooseokie,” said Yuto, immediately pausing, tongue caught in his mouth. It was understandable that he’d find himself in this situation of inability to talk due to the sudden happenings. He didn’t get to finish before Wooseok cut him off.

“Yuto, do you want to stay here for a while and talk with me? At another table?”

Yuto only nodded, and Wooseok smiled at him.

So the two stalked off; Hwitaek and Hyojong giggling to each other while one of them watched intently. It took two minutes of the duo waiting to peek over before they saw something very interesting, and interesting in a very good way.

Hwitaek smiled as he saw Yuto’s hand meet Wooseok’s underneath their table. They both were grinning at each other, eyes glistening.

Maybe, he thinks, they’re seeing the stars he’s always seen with Jinho.

Hwitaek shook his head. He meant Hyojong, and he scolded his mind for thinking about Jinho.

It’s only ever been Jinho, though.

Hwitaek sighed. He turned back to face Hyojong, who was grinning at him happily.

“We did a good job, huh?”

ㅡ

Hyojong kissed Hwitaek for the first time the next day.

“I really think that I’m in love with you,” he said. “I want a real relationship from this, if that’s what you want too.”

Hwitaek couldn’t bring himself to respond at first. He only kissed the younger again, with more passion and quite possibly, love.

Hwitaek used to hate the thought of being in love with anyone but Jinho. But Hyojong...Hyojong wasn’t so bad.

Hyojong was actually good, Hwitaek decided. He didn’t mind Hyojong; he actually liked him a lot. He was really kind, bright, intelligent, and he was a great kisser.

“I think I may be in love with you, too,” Hwitaek said. “I’d definitely want that.”

Hyojong shined a bright smile toward him, and leaned in to kiss him again.

Yes, this was okay.

He’d be okay if he stayed with Hyojong.

So he did.

It’d been two months since they’d officially gotten together outside of the “fake dating” spectrum, and Hwitaek was happy with Hyojong. They’d go on dates often, road trip to their hometowns every few weeks, and shared a lot of laughter and smiles and occasional fights. It felt like an actual relationship should, working and getting better, feeling more comfortable and happy with each day that passed.

Although they found themselves to be pleased with their current setup, Hyojong was becoming increasingly touchy, and it worried Hwitaek to some extent. He wasn’t sure that he was ready for anything sexual with Hyojong yet; though the kid could be fucking hot at times and flaunt it like nobody’s business, he wasn’t quite in the mindset of spending the night at one another’s place doing more than just sleeping. It was just wrong to Hwitaek, and he didn’t really know why. He was happy, Hyojong was happy (albeit needy), and the next step was clearly sex, so why wasn’t he feeling okay with it? They'd been together long enough and gained each other's trust, he knew they wouldn't ever think to hurt each other...why was he so nervous?

Hwitaek laid his head onto Hyojong’s lap, staring at his television screen. Yuto was supposed to be home from a date with Wooseok in a few minutes, so they were just watching a random drama that Hyojong put on. He noted that it was a Reply drama, but didn’t care to see which year. They all ended up being interesting regardless.

Like he'd expected, after a few minutes of silence and Hyojong carding his fingers through Hwitaek’s hair, Yuto walked through the front door, grinning. Hwitaek sat up and stared at him; it was really unusual to see the kid have any expression other than blankness, so he was immediately curious.

“Yuto-yah, how was your date with Wooseok-ah?”

“Perfect,” he said hurriedly, rushing to pull off his shoes and run to his bedroom, not even giving Hwitaek and Hyojong a glance. The older of the two shook his head disappointedly while allowing a small smile to tug on the edge of his lips.

“Do you know what’s up?” Hyojong asked as Yuto’s door closed.

“I think Wooseok finally worked up the nerve to kiss him tonight.” Hwitaek laughed at the thought; the two seemed so intimidating and dominant that it would be no problem to have kissed by now, but Hwitaek had recently found out that Yuto was desperately waiting for Wooseok to kiss him. It was only logical that this was the situation that came about.

Things were okay.

Everyone was happy.

ㅡ

This year, this day, would mark the third year since Jinho last talked to Hwitaek.

The younger hoped every single day for the first year after that he’d get another message from Jinho, but only got notifications about his Facebook relationship status; in a relationship, it read, with Yang Hongseok.

What made the situation even worse was that Yang Hongseok was attractive. So much so that he noted he'd never stand a chance if it all came down to it. The years of pining would be for nothing; Jinho was getting what he wanted, and that was that. He was dating a handsome guy, and Hwitaek knew that he'd never look him in the eyes again if they were to cross paths. That was last thing Hwitaek wanted.

Not that it mattered.

Nothing mattered as long as Jinho was happy. In fact, nothing that happened in Jinho's life was that important to Hwitaek, why would it be? They were both happy with their separate lives. He was happy with Hongseok, posting pictures of the dates they'd go on when it was romantically magnificent outside, cherry blossoms coating the cobblestone walkway outside of his boyfriend's college campus and the lights on the Yanghwa bridge reflecting off of the river water alluringly with the both of them in shot. Hwitaek was happy with Hyojong, spending nights warmed up against each other watching dramas and movies and observing Yuto and Wooseok's relationship blossom from afar. He was really, truly happy.

He told himself.

He's truly happy, Hwitaek continued telling himself. I'm truly happy.

He sighed. That was the biggest lie he'd ever told himself.

He loved Hyojong, yes, but he knew deep in his heart that he has loved no one as much as he loved Jinho. No matter how much he tells himself to let it go, it just doesn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> final chapter = huge developments and shit like that  
> ;-)


	3. ii.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the last thing hwitaek expected was to bump into jinho, tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um so this is the chapter that has smut, i know its ramadan rn so if you dont want to read it ill bold the first three words of the section that turns smutty i guess. the next cutline tho (the little black line) is where it ends off tho, it takes up the majority of this chapter so sorry if its not a long read :( also it's my first time writing smut so bare with me.....i think i read enough to get the general gist.
> 
> enjoyooooo

When Hwitaek approached Shinwon's coffee shop alone on a random January night, he could feel himself becoming nervous. He didn't exactly know why until he saw  _ him _ inside, ordering what Hwitaek would expect: Sweet tea with two sweetening packets. He never knew why he felt the extra packets were so necessary, but it was just like him; sweet. Never sour. Sometimes overly sweet. He'd always ordered this, so regularly that Hwitaek would get their coffee and tea like this in the mornings before they'd found other roommates and moved out those few years ago.

 

It was Jinho, of course. 

 

As Hwitaek entered, Jinho’s attention was immediately on him. He noticed Shinwon was still working and was at the counter, waving a small hello toward Hwitaek. He politely waved back, and turned to face Jinho and walk toward him as confidently as he could. Jinho looked slightly uncomfortable and awkward, which was weird for him, but he continued looking directly at Hwitaek.

 

“Hyung, I haven’t seen you in a while… Can we talk?” Hwitaek asked politely, taking a seat directly across from Jinho. Jinho stared at him for a long moment, inhaling sharply before he began slowly speaking.

 

“Hwitaek, I need to tell you something, and I don’t want you to hate me for this,” Jinho leaned forward onto the table a little bit, the speed of his voice picking up, “but it’s just something I’ve kept from you for years and I feel like such an asshole for this but, godㅡI love you, and I don’t know how else to explain it, and I realize that I’m such a fucking piece of shit for leaving you on my roof that night and pretending we didn’t fucking kiss, I regret that so much that I hate myself more and more every day because of it.” Jinho says, and Hwitaek is completely breathless, speechless, “I’m so, so sorry, Hwi, I love you, please don’t hate me…”

 

“Jinho-hyung,” Hwitaek sighed heavily, shocked and confused, “Are you saying that youㅡ”

 

“I did feel something, Hwitaek. I did. I was just so shocked that I pretended I didn’t. I liked you so much, I do still, I love you, but I didn’t want to say because I was scared…”

 

“Scared of what, hyung?” Hwitaek stared into Jinho’s eyes intently, still seeing the same stars he saw that night on the older’s roof, glistening brightly. That night that they shared the kiss they both hadn’t been able to forget for years after.

 

“I was scared of what would happen to us. I didn’t know anything about my preferences, all I knew was that I liked you more than I liked any girl. I was so shocked that you kissed me back that night, it became overwhelming, and terrifying. I didn’t know how to feel at all, but I knew that I liked you, and at the time, that was a huge problem.”

 

Hwitaek felt goosebumps rush through his body. He knew exactly what Jinho meant. It wasn’t exactly ideal to be gay, and closeted at that, in a fairly conservative country, but he’d been making it up until now. This was extremely overwhelming and hurt Hwitaek’s heart in more ways than he could think to describe.

 

“I love you too, hyung, please don’t leave me again…” Hwitaek whispered, putting his head down to face his lap. His heart was pounding in his chest, harder than he ever thought was possible, and goosebumps sent themselves throughout his body in surges. God, Hwitaek loved Jinho so much, it was so hard to breathe around him, to function and pretend to be alright. He’d kept that a secret since they were young, the summer that Jinho was thirteen and Hwitaek was twelve. He didn’t know what feelings regarding love felt like, but over the time that he’s grown up, he’s realized more and more every day that he was truly in love with Jo Jinho, a short boy who he had been best friends with for over twelve years, and that was all that mattered. Jo Jinho was what mattered.

 

So when they kissed the night they were on Jinho’s roof when they were teenagers, Hwitaek felt as if everything was alright, that he’d be alright, that they would be okay. But Jinho pulled away, walked away, and threw himself in solitary confinement. He wouldn’t talk to Hwitaek like usual; if he did, he’d pretend he was all smiles. He was awkward, and Hwitaek was hurt when he figured out that Jinho was in pain. He thought he caused it, so he stopped talking to him.

  
A year later, Jinho asked Hwitaek if he’d like to be roommates with him for college. He agreed, and their relationship was okay for a while once again, but Jinho would regularly go out and club while Hwitaek would stay in and study, and occasionally pick him up. Soon after, Hwitaek couldn’t stand it anymore, as much as he loved Jinho, they weren’t a real coupleㅡso they moved out just before graduation. Hwitaek found Yuto, took him in, and Jinho found his own place.

 

The years that they didn’t talk after that were so painful.

 

Jinho’s hand reached out for Hwitaek’s across the table. He looked up at the older, a sense of lost love in his eyes, and they stared together.

 

The stars, as always, were there.

 

Jinho pulled his hand away after another moment, sighing to himself. He stared at his hands in his lap, then at his cup of tea, and then at Hwitaek. The younger was looking at him intently, a sense of fatigue filling his eyes mixed in with all the love in the world. The way Hwitaek looked at him was just that; as if Jinho was the most important, beautiful, absolutely wonderous thing in creation, the only thing that ever mattered in this insane, mixed up universe. 

 

“Let’s go,” Hwitaek whispered, and Jinho quickly nodded, grabbing his jacket and leaving his tea on the table. As they exited, they waved a goodbye to Shinwon, and he only nodded at them.

 

As they passed through town together, side by side, Hwitaek couldn’t help but feel that this moment was planned by some greater force. That he and Jinho would be together, their feelings out in the open, headed toward Hwitaek’s apartment. Hwitaek grew the courage to grab for Jinho’s hand, and the older happily obliged, shying a smile away as they continued through the streets.

 

But something was bothering Hwitaek. At that moment, though, he couldn’t bring himself to care.

 

They reached his apartment and the second the door closed, Hwitaek had Jinho pinned against it, the smaller man breathing heavily, staring into the other’s eyes. Lust crossed over Hwitaek’s eyes, and Jinho saw it so clearly, it was both frightening and arousing.

 

“I’ve waited so long to have you, hyung,” Hwitaek said, sending chills down Jinho’s spine. He was so close that Jinho could feel his breath on his lips, and it was slowly eating away at him. He wanted so much to lean forward and kiss Hwitaek, but before he could bring himself to, Hwitaek already had.

 

The surge of electricity that flashed through the two was more electrifying than it was when they were teenagers, and the first kiss itself was strong. It grew simply due to the years of unrequited feelings, pretending they were friends and strangers when they truly wanted to be so much more. 

 

Hwitaek’s lips on Jinho’s were cold, simply due to the fact that they were just outside in the chilly weather, but Jinho felt a warmth coming from the younger, one that was inexplicably perfect. With each moment that passed, the kiss became more passionate, and they both kept grabbing, trying to gain some kind of grip on one another. Jinho settled for holding Hwitaek’s jaw with both of his hands, cupping his cheeks, and Hwitaek kept his arms locked around the older’s waist. A moment later he pulled for Jinho to jump, and he did, crossing his legs around Hwitaek’s hips, his hands still in place. The kiss slowly got messier, and Hwitaek pulled away to walk them into his room and and threw Jinho onto his bed, letting himself fall on top of the smaller carefully, clashing their lips once more.

 

**Hwitaek slowly started** moving downward, meeting his lips to Jinho’s cheeks, jawline, neck, adam’s apple. As the younger kept moving lower, Jinho started letting out small gasps, reaching to put his hand in Hwitaek’s hair and tug a little. Each noise that exited Jinho’s mouth was literal music to Hwitaek’s ears, he sounded so beautiful underneath him, sighing every few seconds because of the way the younger was able to make him feel. It was like he was on ecstasy, he felt so high on love and he couldn’t think of anything better than it.

 

The younger began fumbling with the older’s shirt, trying to pull it off of him so he could mark up his skin with blossoming bruises. Jinho’s jeans were becoming tighter by the minute, his blood pumping so much faster than he believed was humanly possible; he didn’t think it would be possible to get this hard so quickly. He moved his hand up and down Hwitaek’s back, trying to pry the shirt off of the younger so he could scratch him easier. Hwitaek didn’t stop his mission, though, so Jinho decided to give in and throw his head back so Hwitaek could mark him up with ease.

 

When he did pause, Jinho was quick to pull off Hwitaek’s shirt and throw it somewhere that it wouldn’t bother them. He first started spreading the palms of his hand over Hwitaek’s chest, fingers lightly grazing over the younger’s nipples, before he hastily began scratching at his back, wanting to leave any and every mark he could.

 

It took Hwitaek another minute before he decided to continue teasing at Jinho, moving his hand slowly down so he could begin palming him through his jeans. Jinho gasped at his touch, the friction becoming quickly overwhelming. The older was already fully hard, and before he knew it, his pants were off, and so were Hwitaek’s. The physical feelings that crowded him right now were better than he’d ever imagined. It was so difficult to hold himself back when all he wanted was Hwitaek for so many years, and now that their emotions had been released, the intimacy of their relationship quickly escalated. The noises that exited Jinho’s mouth were so devastatingly stunning and breathless. It was so wonderful, gorgeous, alluringly sound. Hwitaek sighed into Jinho’s skin.

 

“Wait,” Jinho said through his gasps, and Hwitaek paused to look at him, eyes loving and dazed. He was clearly on as much of a high as Jinho was, and it made him feel so good to look at. “I want to… do something.”

 

“What, hyung?” Hwitaek asked, tilting his head slightly to the side, letting his beagle-like personality slip through in these intimate moments. It almost made Jinho laugh.

 

“Can I suck you off?”

 

The phrase was music to Hwitaek’s ears.

 

“Absolutely,” he said, leaning back in to kiss Jinho once more. They sat up, and Jinho’s hands moved down to Hwitaek’s hips, gripping at the band of his boxers. He started to pull them down, and when they came off completely, he tossed them elsewhere. 

 

Jinho bit his lip, scanning Hwitaek from head to toe, and Hwitaek felt his cock twitch. Jinho looked so achingly sexy doing that, looking at him with such lust and admiration and love, he felt so aroused unlike he’d ever been.

 

He honestly couldn’t believe this was happening.

 

Jinho leaned forward into Hwitaek’s chest, kissing and licking all that he could. He bit into Hwitaek’s collarbones, leaving beautifully blossoming marks, letting him allow gasps to escape his mouth. He made his way down and Hwitaek laid back, Jinho’s tongue working hastily to reach Hwitaek’s length.

 

As the older’s mouth took in the younger’s tip, it made him shudder.  The wet, warm cavern that was Jinho’s mouth worked hastily around Hwitaek, sucking hard and making such lewd but gorgeous sounds. It took everything in Hwitaek to make sure he didn’t come in that second.

 

Jinho’s head continued bobbing up and down on the younger’s cock, and Hwitaek reached down to push his fingers through Jinho’s hair. The older pulled off, causing an immediate whine to erupt from the younger, but he continued stroking Hwitaek with his hand when he whispered, “Fingers,” using his other hand to take Hwi’s hand off of his head and stick them into his mouth. He sucked diligently, and Hwitaek was really pleased with everything. Jinho was perfect, this situation was perfect, he couldn’t help his cheeks from reaching a rosy red and throwing his other arm over his face to conceal it. Jinho took his mouth off of his fingers with a pop.

 

“Hwi, what is it?”

 

“You’re just so--” Hwitaek starts, turning back to look Jinho directly in the eyes, “so, so good, so perfect, I don’t know what to do with myself.”

 

Jinho smirked, laughing a little bit. He leaned forward to kiss Hwitaek’s lips again, softly, before whispering, “That’s fine, let me take care of you, then.”

 

ㅡ

 

When Hwitaek awoke the next morning, his mattress felt cold.

 

He felt worried for a moment, that everything that happened was a dream and that it wasn’t.

 

He scanned his room, and found a note scribbled on his nightstand.

 

_ I had to run. I’m sorry. I love you, Hwi. _

_ -  _ __ JJH _ _

 

 

ㅡ

 

The next time they met, they talked, about everything. About even more than they did before. About Hongseok, and about Hyojong, and about their feelings for them.

 

Jinho and Hwitaek’d keep quiet, of course. About their meetings, and what they did throughout them.

 

Hwitaek decided that it would be okay, for now.

 

And so did Jinho.

 

They’d be okay.


End file.
